Joke: Southern Living-Fool joke

When You Live In The DEEP South : 

* You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 

* You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter. 

* Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center. 

* Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 

* You burn your yard rather than mow it. 

* The Salvation Army declines your mattress. 

* Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one. 

* You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 

* You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 

* You come back from the dump with more than you took. 

* You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 

* You've ever bathed with flea and tick soap. 

* You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 

* You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 

* You have a rag for a gas cap. 

* You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic. 

* Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does. 

* Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 

* Your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off. 

* Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 

* A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of home improvements.